I got on Niteflirt today for the first time in a long while. \u00a0Suffice to say, I spoke with a few people and was struck by the sheer depth of secrecy and shame surrounding their predilections. \u00a0It made me think of my new situation being in school, and even though BDSM and fetish has been removed from the DSM V, if I told anyone what I did for a living for ten years, they would flip their tops. \u00a0And not in the sexy way. Needless to say, I am open about being a kinky person, and have had to qualify that on a few occasions. People don’t know how to place that either, but I really don’t give a shit.<\/p>\n

For years I and my colleagues have had discussions (at domme-only parties! \u00a0there were pillows and leather and high heels– and you missed it!) about how the BDSM community is about where the LGBTQ movement was in the 90’s. \u00a0It’s exploited in the media as a joke or a fantasy for chubby housewives, but if anyone talks about it in their personal lives, you can practically hear the needle screeching off the record. That is not true for everyone, but it seems to be the majority.<\/p>\n

This is why I think it is time to take a page from the LGBTQ movement and create our own parade. \u00a0We need to have visibility, and we need to have a voice. \u00a0Not the media speaking for us, not psychiatrists attempting to deconstruct our desires– just us. \u00a0If that sounds cheesy, fine. \u00a0But there are way more of us out there than people realize, and it needs to be shown.<\/p>\n

Carefully stepping from the soap box. \u00a0Now for something completely different…<\/p>\n

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New York, I goddamned miss you so goddamned much. \u00a0So like a lover I am trying to win back, here are a bunch of songs that remind me of you. \u00a0 No Sinatra, sorry.<\/p>\n

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