I was sitting on the toilet today feeling sorry for myself, sad over some person or nonsense like that- and I let out a really wet fart. A bunch of them, in fact. As hard as I was trying to feel bad, I couldn’t do it, because I just could not stop farting. The noise is just too hilarious. It’s never NOT funny. Is it possible to be on the toilet and be upset? Try it sometime, it is surprisingly difficult.<\/p>\n

(This is not an invitation for people into toilet training to call me. Please do not.)<\/p>\n

Ha! Was that too much information? Oh well. <\/p>\n

Since I love to rant endlessly, almost to the point of resembling Andy Rooney (when the hell are that guy his eyebrows going to die, anyway?)- I was at a hip hop show a few nights ago, enjoying the music, and I feel someone slam into me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was sitting on the toilet today feeling sorry for myself, sad over some person or nonsense like that- and I let out a really wet fart. A bunch of them, in fact. As hard as I was trying to feel bad, I couldn’t do it, because I just could not stop farting. The noise […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"featured_image_urls":{"full":"","thumbnail":"","medium":"","medium_large":"","large":"","1536x1536":"","2048x2048":""},"post_excerpt_stackable":"

I was sitting on the toilet today feeling sorry for myself, sad over some person or nonsense like that- and I let out a really wet fart. A bunch of them, in fact. As hard as I was trying to feel bad, I couldn’t do it, because I just could not stop farting. The noise is just too hilarious. It’s never NOT funny. Is it possible to be on the toilet and be upset? Try it sometime, it is surprisingly difficult. (This is not an invitation for people into toilet training to call me. Please do not.) Ha! Was that…<\/p>\n","category_list":"Uncategorized<\/a>","author_info":{"name":"g2GdDadDSas","url":"https:\/\/www.mistressveronicanyc.com\/author\/g2gddaddsas\/"},"comments_num":"0 comments","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mistressveronicanyc.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1145"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mistressveronicanyc.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mistressveronicanyc.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mistressveronicanyc.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mistressveronicanyc.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1145"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.mistressveronicanyc.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1145\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mistressveronicanyc.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mistressveronicanyc.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mistressveronicanyc.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}