One Night in Paddles and the World’s Your Oyster!!

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Sorry I haven’t written in so long, but I have been working my ass off non-stop, and caught a cold because of it. Everyone waiting on emails, I apologize. I could hardly open my eyes yesterday, let alone stare at the my interactive television machine.;)

I don’t usually go to Paddles, because all the guys usually creep me out too much. For a girl, it feels like being in a zombie movie. Only instead of eating your brain, they just follow you around and say, “Mistress, Mistress, can I give you a massage?” (with all the inflection and grace of Bill Murray’s character from Caddyshack) I’m just like, “I don’t know, can you?” Massages from guys are hardly ever good, unless they’ve been trained, and that is rare. And by the way, offering a bad one is not “service”, but just a sad excuse to try to touch us. Let’s be real.

You want to offer me a service? Buy me a drink. Carry my purse. Make sure that I am comfortable. TAKE A DAMNED WHIPPING. And don’t expect anything back (re: to massage me), because if you do, that’s not “service”, that’s bartering.

So, Scarlett Stangatta and I spent most of the night taking turns whipping my slave, and I got to hear her deliciously evil laugh- which, the first time I heard it, thought was fake. But no, she really laughs like that. It’s awesome. She should be a comic book villain. We asked some friends from Pandora’s to come out for a spanking, which made more of a scene than I expected it to, as the crowd of leering men managed to fit itself neatly around us eventhough we were in a corridor. All that aside, I might have spanked them longer than they would have preferred… but their butts jiggled so nicely, I just couldn’t help it! I never get to spank girl butt.

It was a singular night also, because Belle du Jour from Leather Ladies showed up. She’s like 85 years old. I recognized her because I saw her website a long time ago, and she looks exactly the same, only smaller and with more old lady cuteness. She was there with Mistress Jeanie (her niece), and some other lady with huge hair and lots of eyeliner who guided her around and scowled a lot. I introduced myself and asked her a lot of questions, (most of which I’ve forgotten the answers to) and probably seemed like an overly eager leering man myself. Someone should interview that lady. In fact, it might not be a bad idea to interview a bunch of “old timers” for a book or a radio show- just so that we have some record of the old days of debauchery. And perhaps as a blueprint to show us how tame we all actually are!!

xoxo.