I do not want women in my porn EXCEPT…

When it’s sixties lesbian blue ball-creating porn.  I don’t know what it is about these women.  Maybe it’s the fuzzy little bushes, maybe it’s the believability of their coquettishness.  Maybe it’s the tease of it all.  Or the lingerie.  Or the waiting.   Christ, you’re waiting so long that sometimes it seems like the revelation of her stockings will send you over the edge.  I found myself yelling at the screen, “Please show me your pussy!  God, please!” 

I really tried to watch recent lesbian porn.  I tried my damnedest.  But Jesus, do they all need to penetrate eachother with their long nails?? Who thinks that’s hot??   I mean long fingernails in your pussy?  That’s painful, not erotic!  I can’t help but think that one of them is going to fall off and get stuck- ew!  Imagine (if you’re a guy) getting a long-nailed finger in your ass??  Hell-to-the-no is the correct answer.  Also, fuckin hell, could they fake having an orgasm any worse?  Could they look any more bored?  And they just fuck for so.  Damned.  Long.  Really?  You’re really having a 45 minute orgasm?  Please.  I don’t mean to disparage these women.  They would not be porn stars if there was not a very appreciative and enthusiastic audience for them.  It just does not appeal to me.

Sixties lesbian porn may not be in color, but it is a feast.  They paw innocently at each other, coyly, adorably, and, at least in the movies I have seen, seem engaged.  A part of me really believes that these girls were just sexually curious free-loving go-go hippies, on the loose in the world and going wild!  They never put their fingers inside each other, and they never bury their faces in each other’s pussies, but I like it that way.  It kind of reminds me of my first teenaged, confused lesbian pawings.  Not being sure exactly what to do to the other girl, just being sure that her flesh was against yours, and it was soft and warm, and exciting.

Something Weird Video is an awesome resource for vintage porn, and pretty much anything else that is from the 60’s, cultish, and made of celluloid.  I’ve put a link to trailers for two of the movies I have for you to enjoy.  Tell me what you think: 

Trailer for Monique, My Love and Babette

xoxo.