Apology…

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I am not usually an obnoxious drunk, and in fact, take some pride in the fact that I know how to drink, so do not act the fool as soon as I have a glass of wine. I bartended for awhile, so know how fucking annoying it is to watch people who don’t realize what tremendous idiots they’re being. I don’t usually do it, I promise.

But damn if I wasn’t a shit-faced fratboy last night.

It wasn’t because of the election, I didn’t plan on it happening, I wanted to watch the results in a cogent state with some friends. I did! I really did!

I think the last time I got this drunk was when I passed out and tried to piss in the refrigerator. That was like 4 years ago.

So, I just wanted to apologize to everyone who was there who’s ass I tried to grab. Especially Russ, I’m sorry. I think I grabbed your junk too.

Apparently, I also stole someone’s juke box credits in order to play Stevie Wonder. Someone told me that the girl who’s credits I stole came up to me and we “talked”. Hey, if you put credits in the juke box and then walk away, what do you expect? So- I’m not sorry about that. I also did something that made it difficult for them to shut off the juke box when Obama was making his victory speech. I also vaguely remember yelling at the television, telling McCain to shut up, or capitulate, or some such business.

Sorry to Sean, for calling you an “ass fiend” when you asked me if I got home alright. I don’t know where that came from, but now we have a new phrase to throw about. Also, you took it very graciously.

I also called my parents and taunted them at 1 in the morning for voting for McCain. My mother picked up and asked me to taunt when they were awake.

I can’t tell you in what state I awoke today, but it baffled me for like 5 minutes.

I am devoting today to recovering and swearing off vodka.

It’s really nice to hear people honking their horns outside because they’re happy, not because they’re disgruntled. Walking around this afternoon, there is something lighter and happier in the air. Fireworks were going off behind my house last night. There was an impromptu city-wide Mardi Gras in the streets. People smile when they walk past you. I don’t think that Obama is going to make a miracle happen, but it is nice to be amidst the exuberance of those who do. It’s nice to feel like an era of staunch conservativism is coming to an end.

xoxo.